Helping Parents & Children with Separation

Red Barn Guidelines for helping children and parents with separation

• Bring your child to visit at open house in May, visit days in June (1 hour). August (1 hour), and orientation week (2 hours while parent is in meeting at the Yellow House). These allow the child to slowly adapt to the setting, get to know the teacher, and recognize that there are other children and playthings that they might like to enjoy. The parents can feel more confident that their child will be safe and happy.

• Set a comfortable pace at home prior to school.  Know where the backpack, shoes, jacket, etc. are before you are ready to go out the door.  Make school part of routine.

• Develop a ritual to follow; some examples are:
• Bringing a piece of blanket or favorite animal.
• Leaving stuffed animal in car seat for child to look forward to seeing.
• Visiting rabbit when you arrive or leave.
• Kissing your child’s hand so child can “save the kisses”

• Recognize that tears and clinging are more likely if you hang around.  When you are ready to leave, make a clear signal to the child and the teacher. Say good-bye to your child and reassure your return. If necessary, hand the child to the teacher. You are welcome to wait in the parking lot for a report!  Sometimes coming back early to pick up your child is a good idea.

• Sometimes separation occurs at a time other than the beginning of the year, such as after a vacation, the birth of a baby, grandma leaving after a vacation, etc.

• Sometimes children say things like, “I don’t want to go to school because no one plays with me” or “The teacher won’t let me play with the blocks”.  A positive parent response would be,”I’ll mention that to the teacher.  I’m sure she will help you”.

• The more confident and comfortable the parent, generally the more confident and comfortable the child.   We know, however, that learning to separate is a developmental task, one that each individual human handles according to his/her personality.  Our goal at Red Barn is to help children and parents, alike, feel comfortable in our setting.